Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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