someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
