we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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