OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you traded sex for a burrito?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
