I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize