Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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