Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize