I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
