She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
