Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
