is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
