Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
