Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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