I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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