Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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