i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
