she woke up with a sticky ear
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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