dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
These tits shall not be calmed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
