oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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