he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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