i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do vagina's smell?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
