...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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