I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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