I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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