You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
