I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
