he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
