I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Randomize
