Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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