I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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