dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
