oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
