It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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