It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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