so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
