this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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