Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
