Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
