ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
