Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
This house was built for laser tag.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
