I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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