whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sorry my hands just texted you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
