i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
