I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize