Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
