So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
