We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
