Just fell off a train. Bad.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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