On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
