you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
