You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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