yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
