): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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