i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
