She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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