im about as happy as oj after his trial
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
