those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My feet surprised me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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