I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
