Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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