FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
