My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
