Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
